Going through a separation or divorce can be a very lonely time for many people. Your world has been turned upside down, and you might find yourself feeling emotional, stressed, and otherwise feeling an impact on your mental health.
It’s important to remember that feeling low during a separation is quite usual. However, it’s also crucial to reach out to get the right support when you need to.
Signs that your mental health has been affected
A common feeling during separation is that of stress. The charity Mind explains that stress can affect us in different ways. Sometimes, you might be able to spot the signs straight away, and other times you can carry on without realising what you are feeling.
Symptoms of stress can be psychological, and can include:
- Feeling angry, irritable, or impatient
- Feeling anxious, nervous or afraid
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Having a sense of dread
- Feeling depressed
- Feeling lonely
- Feeling tense, like you cannot switch off your thoughts
Signs of stress can also be physical, such as:
- Difficulty breathing
- Panic attacks
- Feeling sick, dizzy or fainting
- Fatigue
Everyone can be affected differently by stress. Often, people can react to stress in a way that they believe will relieve their symptoms, but these can be unhealthy coping mechanisms. Examples can be:
- Nail-biting
- Unable to concentrate or remember things
- Finding it hard to make decisions
- Turning to smoking or drinking
- Excessive spending
- Stopping exercise or not eating well
Impact of poor mental health during a separation
It can be hard to realise that whatever you are going through during a separation in terms of your mental health can also affect others.
Poor mental health can mean that you may find it hard to have conversations with your ex-partner about what to do next, such as discussing your future finances, and the potential arrangements for children.
If you are feeling irritable or anxious, you might feel worried about having direct conversations with your ex-partner about these important issues. It can also make it feel difficult to reach out and get the right legal advice, perhaps until later down the line.
There can be a feeling of isolation during a separation and when you are struggling with your mental health you might feel that you can’t, or that it is difficult, to reach out to family or friends, and in turn, it can make that support network feel apprehensive about reaching out to you too. If you are feeling depressed, you might feel as though you can’t take care of day to day things, and your children and family might notice this too.
Ways to cope and what you can do
It is best to get legal advice on your separation as early as possible. Just having an initial meeting with a family lawyer to help lay out the path of what happens next, will help you to feel reassured and give you a way forward in your case. If you can get support and get legal advice as early as possible, this can help you feel empowered to progress through your separation. You can get the right tools to help you cope, and to also know that there is an end to the current situation. It is important to know that you are not alone.
Family lawyers can often sign-post you to support services such as divorce/separation coaches, charities that can support you and your family during separation, resources for children whose parents are separating, and mediators to help where possible with non-court dispute resolution.
If you are experiencing signs that your mental health is not in a good place, you should seek medical advice and support at the earliest opportunity. Speaking to your GP or a therapist can really help you to feel better and to be able to manage the other aspects of your separation.
Where possible, do reach out to friends and family. They know you best and will want to help you wherever they can. If you have children, having a support network around you can also reduce the stress of managing day to day care for the children, especially when you might be having a low day.
Pinney Talfourd offers a free 45 minute consultation to eligible family law clients. Contact a member of our team on 0800 011 1195 to discuss how we can help support you.
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